A review of one of Bad Beat’s favorite restaurants, the Oinkster in Eagle Rock:

“First time I came to this place I loved it.

Second time I came to this place it wasn’t nearly as good but I chalk it up to having directly in my line of sight a few tables away probably the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen, so ugly that I lost my appetite but I couldn’t look away, especially considering that the mom was rather attractive.  I don’t know why ugly babies make me lose my appetite but I was too grossed out to finish.

Third time I went there were no ugly babies as far as the eye could see, and it was once again butt fucking delicious.  I had the 1/4 chicken with the garlic ailoi sauce and black beans and fries.  I love the embarrassment of riches in the way of condiments and the fact that they have a happy hour and great beers on tap.”

Remember when reviews (and written things in general), had to be good enough to print?  Those tyrannical days are over, and now just any old you-n-me can delight readers with such beautiful catches of free democratic speech as “butt fucking delicious”.  We can even nestle such magnificent shapes of phrase into seemingly wanton, backhandedly glowing reviews of a pastrami restaurant.  Eww.